Dyslexia - Part Two

Confusion and the crowd

It is hard to call yourself dyslexic. One reason is the abuse of the term. A person flips a few numbers and maybe a bit of a lazy reader and *bam* the self-diagnosis is Dyslexia. At this point many say, hey I do that – I must be dyslexic. Please consider what you’re saying. Leaving a word out of a sentence on a essay does not make you dyslexic. Leaving out a word on almost every sentence in an essay, would make you a candidate for such a condition. And a condition you do not want. Such a balsa attitude shows an utter misunderstanding about what dyslexia is. (For the record that gets under the skin of those with this particular DNA combination.) This “Your problems no Problem” attitude lead’s people think your no different then them only lazy or dumb. Another reason is the opposite extreme. It is the utter stigma people may give it. Such judgments are the result of peoples first hand experience. For example, there is little difference between stupid and dyslexic in the minds of people when you ask how to spell the word “Neighbor” because spell check is responding back with “WTF?” If you’re quick on your feet, personal, and verbally articulate, as many dyslexics are, you will often be passed off as a Novelty. So all this to say, much confusion about the what dyslexia is cause much unneeded pain for those with it.

Cutting through the Confusion

Ronald D. Davis in his book, Gift of dyslexia writes on the experience he had with the confusion that surrounds this learning disability.

Once as a guest on a television show, I was asked about the "positive" side of dyslexia. As part of my answer, I listed a dozen or so famous dyslexics. The hostess of the show then commented, "Isn't it amazing that all those people could be geniuses in spite of having dyslexia."

She missed the point. Their genius didn't occur in spite of their dyslexia, but because of it!

He goes on to say:

Having dyslexia won't make every dyslexic a genius, but it is good for the self-esteem of all dyslexics to know their minds work in exactly the same way as the minds of great geniuses. It is also important for them to know that having a problem with reading, writing, spelling, or math doesn't mean they are dumb or stupid. The same mental function that produces a genius can also produce those problems.

What is dyslexia?

The simple definition is “extremely difficult to read, write, and spell in your native language—despite at least average intelligence.” My favorte definition is “the umbrella slang word for public's inability to understand the complex and extraordinary thought process of 'Multi-dimensional FreeThinking". I’m sure you guessed I like that one for it's bit. (ha ha) For my purpose, I want to dig a little deeper. I want to look at how dyslexia is scientifically understood. On my next, blog, I suggest a way of viewing dyslexia theologically. In that section I will outline a theologically understanding of dyslexia as I see it (a little D-lex humor). But first the scientific, followed by some concluding thoughts on the matter.. The international dyslexia association gives us a more complete definition from a scientific perspective.

Dyslexia is a neurologically-based, often familial, disorder which interferes with the acquisition and processing of language. Varying in degrees of severity, it is manifested by difficulties in receptive and expressive language, including phonological processing, in reading, writing, spelling, handwriting, and sometimes in arithmetic.

Dyslexia is not the result of lack of motivation, sensory impairment, inadequate instructional or environmental opportunities, or other limiting conditions, but may occur together with these conditions.

Although dyslexia is lifelong, individuals with dyslexia frequently respond successfully to timely and appropriate intervention.

I want to highlight some point about dyslexia.

Section one

One, Dyslexia is an inherited condition. Researchers have determined that a gene on the short arm of chromosome #6 is responsible for dyslexia. That gene is dominant, making dyslexia highly heritable. It definitely runs in families.

Two, Dyslexia results from a neurological difference; that is, a brain difference. People with dyslexia have a larger right-hemisphere in their brains than those of normal readers. That may be one reason people with dyslexia often have significant strengths in areas controlled by the right-side of the brain, such as artistic, athletic, and mechanical gifts; 3-D visualization ability; musical talent; creative problem solving skills; and intuitive people skills. In addition to unique brain architecture, people with dyslexia have unusual "wiring". Neurons are found in unusual places in the brain, and are not as neatly ordered as in non-dyslexic brains. In addition, f/MRI studies have shown that people with dyslexia do not use the same part of their brain when reading as other people. Regular readers consistently use the same part of their brain when they read. People with dyslexia do not use that part, and there appears to be no consistent part used among dyslexic readers. One part of the brain has hijacked the function. This can be a benefit or a curse depending on how the development pathways form in the individual.

Common observable traits of Dyslexics:

· High IQ, low test scores

· Daydream often

· Read/write with additions, omissions, substitutions, reversals

· Transposition of letters, numbers or words

· Mispronounce long words

· Unorganized

· Often confuse left/right, over/under, up/down, etc.

· Poor time management

· Poor reading skills and comprehension

· Poor at word problems in math

· Poor self-esteem

· Easily frustrated

Three, Dyslexia is not a result of a lack of motivation or sensory impairment. It is not that I need glasses or any such aid. Dyslexia has nothing to do with a defect in the normal range of physical sensory ability. If just does not work like that. Also, Many confuse lack of motivation for laziness. Many with dyslexia care little for learning because the process becomes like climbing a mountain every day. Who would want to climb Everest, day in and day out? Such lack is not a cause of the problem only a symptom. Don’t tell a dyslexic to just study harder, tell them to take Socrates advice and “know thy self,” to learn how they think and learn so they can “teach thy self.”

So Dyslexia while considered a disability is really people who are wired a little differently thus the fact that it considered a learning disability says more about what is considered learning. Dyslexic people are visual, multi-dimensional thinkers. Dyslexia is a brain thing, mental functions that are common in dyslexic range in degree and intensity. There are 8 basic mental functions common among those with dyslexia.

1. They can utilize the brain's ability to alter and create perceptions (the primary ability).

2. They are highly aware of the environment.

3. They are more curious than average.

4. They think mainly in pictures instead of words.

5. They are highly intuitive and insightful.

6. They think and perceive multi-dimensionally (using all the senses).

7. They can experience thought as reality.

8. They have vivid imaginations.

We are intuitive and highly creative, and excel at hands-on learning. The key to understand this way our brains work is in system thinking a type of Big Picture thinking, which evolves thinking in pictures and relational connection. Because we think in pictures, it is sometimes hard for us to understand letters, numbers, symbols, and written words. Now there is a difference between a person that is a predominately visual thinker and one that has dyslexic. The former has the ability to think in abstract without formulating it into a pictorial form first. The latter, can learn to read, write and study efficiently when we use methods geared to our unique learning style. Dyslexics have the tendency and ability to visualize all dimensions of symbols. Seeing and thinking three-dimensionally is a great asset, especially in today's multimedia world. So when is dyslexia a "disability"? It is a disability when it is not valued and cultivated as a learning difference and crutches are used to get through traditional education.

From around 3rd grade I was labeled "Learning Disabled" and "Dyslexic”. I recognized as a child that all my testing from elementary school through college only pointed out that I was not at my appropriate grade level and that was a problem. I was fortunate to be in a place that helped those like me with methods geared for my unique learning style.

Formulating non-visual words

Dyslexics tend to be visual thinkers. As they read or hear, they want to visualize what they're learning. Take this sentence: "Give me the ball." A young dyslexic may get stuck on the words "give" and "the". The dyslexic student can visualize a ball but has a more difficult time visualizing "the". Ron Davis uses clay as a method to help dyslexics visualize non-visual words. His students work on mastering certain known-troublesome words with clay. I used what was called a tactle board that I spelled words on. To this day, I can feel some words when I write them. I still tear up thinking about the first time laying in my bed, I leaned over and wrote on the wall the word “grace” reflecting on that night as I wrote G R A C E, it came to me I knew, really knew, what it meant. Finally, this abstract consept was visual to me, embodied in a moment that is between me and the Lord. With all dyslexics, the struggle is the process of visualization, which takes more energy and causes dyslexic students to take longer to complete a task.

Education and the Dyslexic

Some of the traits of dyslexics are seeing, thinking, and perceiving multi-dimensionally. Traditional educational processes interfere with a multi-dimensional thought process. Eventually, this becomes a problem as dyslexics tend to find it difficult to understand language in traditional methods of learning. Multiply this problem over years, and you have a student with what "they" call a "learning disability". I believe that providing an educational process in harmony with the multi-dimensional free thinker's thought process will result in greater success for students. Dyslexics often possess higher than normal intelligence and extraordinary creative abilities, which can be compromised by a traditional educational process. In that case, dyslexic children can struggle with their stifled talents. Some outlets for this energy are positive; some are not. It's not fun playing a game you're not good at that others are. Some develop traits recognized as characteristics of ADD. Some turn to art or sports; some become teachers' pets to make up the difference. Some disturb the class; some do things you don't want to know about. I did them all.

Dyslexia is a unique, hidden learning difference that requires a different educational approach. Most school system still do not address dyslexia in the way I believe it needs yet this is understandable oversight can only help on a general level. It is up to the child and there will to strive for the best Human they can be. In college I got accommodations, which were helpful but could have been a crutch for me if I was not so doggedly determined to prove something to myself. These Accommodation where Extra time on tests, Tutors and note takers, and Books on tape.

Traditional schools generally try to fit everyone in a box, feeding students information at the same pace with little regard to their learning differences. Of course those who learn differently "fall behind" because they have to decode information to absorb it. They learn differently, not slowly, but the result is like a domino effect. Many students' self esteem goes down as a result of their frustration, which increases when they feel that no one understands them.

I personally believe that dyslexics are also human antennas who get distracted or inspired by the world around them, like the old days when getting in front of the antenna would make the tv reception phase out. Dyslexics need to be engaged in learning to minimize loosing focus to other things. Using more of their senses is a good way to engage dyslexics in learning.

Day dreaming believer - My experience of learning

When I think about ideas, I use my "mind's eye" to actually see what I am thinking or what others are telling me. In this state of mind, I go through a virtual walk-through. Personal I believe that dyslexics and "learning disabled" people have heightened sensitivity to external stimulation and are come with a disposition that allows them to cultivate a spiritual awareness easer and quicker than most. I also think Jeremiah and Ezekiel was dyslexic but how can I be sure right?

It is necessary for me to visualize everything. I remember being frustrated in Algebra classes as I tried to visualize the concept of a negative multiplied by a negative equaling a positive. My logic was this: if you dig a hole, you have a negative; if you multiply the hole, You have a field full of holes. But it's not; it's a positive! And no one can explain it! They want us to simply accept it. Well, I just can't, not if I'm going to truly know it. I would frustrate teachers with one question, WHY? It is no wonder I have degrees in psychology theology and philosophy.

Like blind people often have stronger senses such as hearing and smelling, I believe dyslexics have stronger mental visualization. Information is seen in my head like a movie, which allows me to get a clear picture of how I'm going to accomplish something before I even start. I can't even write a paper till I can see the whole paper. many don’t get this about dyslexics. I have been working on my Master's thesis in ethics for about a year and just now am I seeing it to write it. I can create a visual walk-through of what someone is telling me. Sometimes the information will trigger a different subject, usually a profound idea or perspective of what I am learning. I call them "sparks" and "idea rolling".

I go on virtual journeys often; it is the core of how I create an end-product. I love it when the Lord uses the same natural talent to show me something. Those journeys are of a totally different nature but, shall we say, ride on the same boat.

Sometimes, I work like a "mad-man" when I want to finish what I've started. Once I am grounded (a prayerful process of focusing my mind, and asking desperately for help; AND HE IS ALWAYS FAITHFU!) and in the moment (connecting all my senses to the task at hand) with the book or computer or bible before me, I have been known to work for hours without eating, drinking or getting up to go to the bathroom. I don't have balance in this area, but I really like to work in this way. I get so excited and passionate about the subject, often theological, that, when I finish, I am almost in a state of euphoria. It love it, for the joy of it - and that joy drive me. Neither money, not fame nor the hopeless seeking after popularity, it is the idea and the one behold all ideas that so fascinates my mind heart and soul. I may die poor but I am rich. I have journeyed places and seen thinks it is unlawful for me to tell of, but God knows the value of such journeys, he took me on them and one day there true value will be known

Dyslexia 1.5

Three Videos on Dyslexia

The First is an encouraging spot for NBC new

The Second and third are educational videos on the subject

Dyslexia: Part ONE... "The words make fun of me…"

When I am weak, then I am strong.
(2 Corinthians 12:10)

There is no fear where love exists. Rather, perfect love banishes fear.
(1 John 4:18)

But by God's grace I am what I am, and his grace shown to me was not wasted. Instead, I worked harder than all the others-not I, of course, but God's grace that was with me.
(1 Corinthians 15:10)

Barefoot Grace: when weakness, fear and trembling get inside love

“Please don’t call on me” the boy thought as he hid behind a girl sitting in front of him. It was a typical day in 6^th grade. A day like all others, except, today was reading day. It was a small class only 26 but the boy wished for one more person. All 25 had read. He had kept up and as always he was last. Peering through her pig tails the teacher's eye and his eye met. “Read the next 3 sentences?” His heart sank.

He looked at the book for a moment and slowly he flopped it open. As the book tipped and spread across his desk, the boy noted the texture and aged look of the book. To himself, he asked and pondered its own story... His mind sparked and in the time of a blink, he created and enjoyed a little story of how the book found its way to his desk. It had traveled the world from Topeka Kansas, where it was published, to the hands of a small missionary school in India. It was read by Tong Tong, an Indian boy, now fur trader. who sold it back to a literate sailor seeking education as well as adventure. Somehow it made the trek back to America and not just America but Georgia and not just Georgia but Macon Ga. Their it was found by His teacher and given to him.

He knew it was not a true story but anything was better then reading! His story was much more interesting than any story in the book. He laughed out loud at his train of inspiration, smiling big in satisfaction, before realizing the class was widely gaping at him, with looks that acted like "Crooked" road signs pointing him in the wrong direction. This was not the first time, there looks he knew all to well.

That one was “Idiot!”

Over there was “YOUR WEIRD!”

The row over, “PITTY”

His friends, “YOUR STUPID!”

Even the teacher though she tried to hide it silently stared in blind confusion, “YOU’RE HOPELESS.”

Returning to the book and settling himself the boy nervously thought “The book would help him? right?” Well traveled books are helpful? Right? They understand, right? The boy stared at the book as if waiting for it to talk to him. Hoping that somehow looking at the words long enough would make the confusion, empty spaces, and lost connections, go away, Fill up and reconnect. Yet the boy knew that reality was not in fanciful thinking and books did not help you read but are for reading. Waiting would only delay the inevitable.

In a voice projecting an apparent confidence, the boy read “THE…” The teacher stops him. "No. The word is 'A' " As He stared at the page he could hear the words laughing at him, slowly he realized it was the giggles of his class mates. "It is A." The teacher said sweetly amidst the giggles of the class.

“THE … Boy.. Wa.. Wal.. WALKS… The boy looks up for approval. The teacher nods as if to say good job. His eyes spark. He smiles and continues… “THE BOY WALKS ….. ME.. HO..” Laughter explodes out of the class filling the room with a condemning joy. Seeing he messed up somehow he quickly comes to his own defense. “ME HO.. It could be the name of a boy..... from china? Or.. Or.. something….”

The teacher stops him and the class, “The word is HOME…Dawson.. The word is Home.. Keep Reading.” He could hear some classmates deliberating behind him ...

“Think he will make it this time?"

"NO way! It will be over soon…He ant got it in him.. He’s Stupid! He said home backwards!"

"and upside down"

"Stupid!”

In the distance, some of the boys in the back began to softly chant "Noswad... Noswad... Noswad..." The teacher eyed them and the chanting quickly faded away.

After hearing the conversation the boy looked up at the teacher and resolutely said “Can I read now?” "We don't know!", a bodiless voice said and the class erupted again in laughter. The boy grits his teeth determined to make it to the last word. Looking at the page, there was a long pause the silence was palpable. Without lifting his head the boy spoke up, “I don’t know that word...” More laughter. The teacher warns the class.

The word is “FROM.”

The boy read, “THE BOY WALKED HOME FROM” … the teacher added “SCHOOL”. The boy repeated “SCHOOL.” More silence.

Slowly smiling as if he had just planned a brilliant escape the boy said, “OOOOH! “THE BOY WALKS HOME FROM SCHOOL!” “That reminds me, I did that yesterday; walked home from school. It was dry. I saw on the news that we may get some rain later in the week. What do you think?”

“I think you need to keep reading! Dawson.. read, NOW, please!” Ten minuets now have passed and the teacher's voice bristled with frustration.

Giggles of earlier now faded and the class rests in awkward silence and distracted laziness. Not giving up the boy said “THE BOY WALKS HOME FROM SCHOOL! .. A DAY...”

"No! Dawson! “THE!” It is 'the'….T.H.E! You can do this! Dawson!"

In a wispy voice that sounded of weakness but is really the strength of the soul grunting as it holds back a flood of pain, hurt, and tears, the boy said, "Yes ma'am, I'm trying.." After a deep breath, the boy again echoed the teacher “THE…” "THE D.. DA" As before he could hear the words laughing at him yet this time the class remained silent. On a frequency only he could hear the word secretly mocked him.

The boy read, “THE DAY…”

The words chanted…. “Dumb Dawson… Don’t know a thing.”

He kept reading “W… WA ... WAS…

“How Stupid are you? Rocks are smarter and more useful!”

The teacher said “HOT” The boy repeated “HOT.” “THE DAY WAS HOT.” Looking up, His lip trembled he knew it was taking to long. He knew his time was up, as if in slow motion the the teacher conceded.

“You can stop! Don’t go any further.”

Just then the words, the class, the room, the very air with one voice cried out,

“FAILURE! YOU’RE A FAILURE!”

The boy could almost taste the blackness. It happened, one tear hit the page.. The boy knew more were coming! He could feel them rising! He blurted out “Can I go to the bath room? Before the teacher could acknowledge him the boy darted out the door and down the hall. He ran. He ran Hard. He was always good at running. And when He ran, as it was said in a movie he would see many years later, He could feel God's pleasure. AS He ran He felt the pleasure of GOD. He kept running out the door and down to the gym.

Out running the tears,

Out running the words,

Out running the labels,

Out running himself.

Some say he has never stopped running. He never stopped pushing himself. He never stopped out running himself. But that day he did stop, he was stopped in his tracks when something his father told him came to mind. There in-between the gym and the classroom, almost a metaphor for his life, he remembered his dad’s words, “I love you, Mama Loves you and Jesus loves you that’s all that matters! When you know that, nothing can make you run!”

The Boy walked back to the class room just before entering the boy paused to tie his shoes, then decided to take them off. Anyway, He was not going anywhere. The boy could feel the cold painted concrete on his feet. They would not diminish his courage to finish. Shoes in hand, he entered a room full of "crooked" road signs but this time nothing would stop him, not even himself.

Seeing Life through tears is common for a dyslexic but overcoming fear by embracing weakness is the glory of a dyslexic. To this day, when the boy's feet feels the cold hard texture of painted concrete, he cant help but smile and be reminded of the courage that Love gives. One tear hit the page encapsulating one word. Inside a tear “the” can become an “A” and inside Love, fear can become courage.

"The greatest weakness of all is the great fear of appearing weak, LD / Dyslexics face their fears everyday in school, thus are some of the fearless people I know."

- Girard Sagmiller

So Remember the spiritual lessons Dyslexia can teach.

1. Inside Love, fear can become courage.

2. The greatest and most controlling fear is the fear of not appearing weak.

3. Fighters are Runners remade by the grace of God. Fighters are Runners moved by the feel of barefoot grace.

4. The appearance of weakness is the truth of a believer. Courageously acknowledging personal weakness is the beauty of a believer. Overcome fear by embracing weakness is the glory of a believer.

Writers note - in the story above I tried to bring you into a world few understand. To show in some little slice the world as a dyslectic feels it. I was hoping to help people see through My eyes emotionally while gaining an understanding of the whole.

More importantly - showing the truth that moments of embarrassment can become moments of empowering grace. Such moments in life train us to understand just how divine strength squeaks through our weakness. It is my favorite paradox of grace - weakness is strength. Today a businessman or Political power player may tell you "weakness is just weakness, it will amount to pain, oppression, and rejection. Weak people are failures and will not make it in a dog eat dog world." Yet in God's kingdom courage only comes one way in the acknowledgment of your weakness and uncovering of your need for help. Such undressing of the soul before God is the door to acceptance, freedom, and hope. In such honesty, fields of grace open to you and the spiritual presence which clothes the soul in courage is personally disclosed in your weakness.

In the final analysis
To be perfictly clear the main point of this story was to remind us the greatest weakness of all is the fear of appearing weak but when we embrace our weakness through Truth, and Love - Grace empowers and overthrows all fear in a revolution of the heart.

Coming Attractions

dYSLeXIA - One insiders "back-ward and upside-down" look into a condition many do not understand and many joke about.

I am starting a seriose on this blog. I will be explaining dyslexia. what it is? what it is like? and Why I think God makes 10% of the population this way. At any rate, it will do me good to write it, I want people understand how I can appear so smart and then feel so stupid....

the education will begin soon....

Salt, Light, and Baby powder

"You are the salt of the earth; ….."You are the light of the world. …..Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

- Matt 5:13-16 (NASB)

A Mother was 3 months pregnant for the third time yet this time it was different there was danger. She was in her mid-thirties and not in perfect health. The doctor’s claimed that both the kidney medication and thyroid medication she had to take for her own health, could and should cause severe retardation. More than likely the child would be retarded or deformed unable to ever fully take care of itself. The doctors requested serious consideration as to the possibility of an abortion. To the husband the doctors added that the chance of him loosing the child and loosing his wife where significantly higher than usual. They may both die if this child is taken to term.

“At best, your child will be mentally retarded. Worst case, you loose both of them. I suggest you abort the pregnancy – the risk is too high!”

The Couple takes a moment to think things over. The doctor is not out of the room before the mother speaks up, “Dead or alive, I am keeping this child! ” In the time it takes a butterfly to open its wings the choice was made. The husband explains to the doctor, “You heard her. We will take whatever the Good Lord chooses to give us. He is smarter than all of us anyway, even you, Doc! ” That night as the mother lay sleep less in bed she thought of a story she had read about a woman named Hannah. Hannah was a praying woman. She was child-less but in her prayers gave to God the fruit of her womb. And God gave her a child after she had first, given the child to God. Laying her hand on her stomach, the mother prayed,

“God – I give you the fruit of my womb! Whatever it be, I give you this child, I consecrate this child to you and your service. Jesus, let this child be a witness of you, whatever it be. In frailty show yourself mighty. In weakness display your glory. I give this child to you, whatever it be…… And Lord, don’t let me die… I like the smell of baby powder. Amen”

The mother roles over on her side the saltiness of her tears wet her lips. This is how the salt of the earth live and how the salt never looses it savor. The mother smiles, for her God is God and her God is Good, whatever it be!

In the time it takes to smile, my mother was given her answer. On September 12, 1976, six months later, she received back to herself, what she had given. She was alive, I was pronounced a healthy baby boy and life smelled like baby powder. The same doctor who reasoned my death marveled at my life. I have been told that at my discharge, he waved good bye with a bible in one hand and a clip board in the other. The doctor called me his little light; the light that showed him God is real. His little night light that helped him to read the book as true. It is a family joke, that he is the first person I ever led to the Lord. My first convert: a southern doctor that tried to kill me. All I did was be born, yet in the plan of God, I was born to the salt of the earth; people that know how to believe, pray, and bring light into this world.

"Let me tell you why you are here. You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. ….Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill.

Matt 5:13-15 (MSG)

Don't hide your light! Let it shine for all; let your good deeds glow for all to see, so that they will praise your heavenly Father.

Matt 5:16 (LB)

A Wedding Sermon

I wrote this because I was tired of writing my thesis and after I finished I thought I would post it. Though I am not a Priest, Preacher or Rabbi. I now have a wedding sermon any taker?

Dawson's first wedding sermon

Introduction
We are gathered hear to day to watch two worlds collide. I say “worlds” because before me are not just two people but two lives. Lives with worlds of experience between them and ways of viewing that world, such worlds are bound to collide. This coalition, this two becoming one flesh, God calls marriage. Marriage is his idea. In Genesis 2:22-25, God preformed the wedding. He even let Adam write his own vows.

The LORD God … brought her to the man. 23

The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman ,
Because she was taken out of Man ." 24

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

I believe it was the first and last wedding in which all participants were naked. (Ha ha)

If you keep reading this great story does not have a happy ending. Sadly, one chapter over from where I read Adam and Eve experience failure and deep disappointment. The up side to such a fall was threw it all they where still one because God had made them One.

My point is that a wedding is the beginning of being one.

U2 has a song call “One.”
They have many songs, but the song One is one of their finest.

The song starts

Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you
Now you got someone to blame

So is this the best thing about being married, about being one?
That you get someone to blame.

To the Groom
Repeat after me

I ______ _______
take you ________ _________
so I’ve got someone to blame.

To the Bride
Repeat after me

I ______ _______
take you ________ _________
so I’ve got someone to blame.

That’s not all being One means.
The song by U2 continues

Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?

To the Groom
Repeat after me
I, ______ _______
take you ______ ______,
to disappoint me
to leave a bad taste in my mouth

To the Bride
Repeat after me
I, ______ _______
take you ______ ______,
to disappoint me
to leave a bad taste in my mouth

What does it mean to be one?
For U2, being one includes times of disappointment and of blame. God would agree.

There is a French philosopher with the rather unfortunate name of Nancy. Jean Luc Nancy. Mr Nancy can’t stand false “oneness”. He can’t stand relationships and marriages and communities that just put up a good front. But Mr Nancy does not give up on marriage. Instead Mr Nancy argues that true relationships, deep oneness, starts with us being real.

True relationships start with each of us acknowledging that there will be disappointment and blame and a bad taste for this or that offense.

Because when we are real, when we face our limitations and name our struggles. We are then able to see the world of another; we can see the other’s reality. This opens us to face others limitations and struggles.

And in that shared reality, we are one.
World’s collide and we are one.

And so the key to building a good marriage is to be real.
to face your limitations and struggles.

Or as U2 sings,
One life
But we’re not the same
We get to carry each other
Carry each other.

Personal words to the groom (something like)
I remember sitting with you, slumped over a café table in Raleigh
Two weeks before you had asked for some advice on how to choose a marriage companion, how to know someone was “the one.”

And then there you were, slumped over the café table, telling me that it was over.
In that moment, your relationship had a sense of reality,
a since of disappointment.

Yet here you are today and you are looking very handsome. Look at your bride, isn’t she beautiful? Now tell me and was it all worth it?

So my charge to you is Remember
Remember that times of disappointment there will be many more but do not remember it without remembering the risk, and courage and fortitude you mustered to continue after her. Do not remember without the memory that in the end being ONE is worth it all!

Personal words to the Bride (something like)
On your website on May 16th you wrote:
I am sooo over being engaged. I am sick of organising stuff. Why does deciding you want to spend the rest of your life with someone equal becoming a manic, diarised control freak? I hate who I am becoming! And sometimes I just want to shut down and just quit. But I cant.. I just can’t.

And so you have built your relationship on reality and on struggle.
Yet here you are today and you are looking beautiful and you’re soon to be husband is looking handsome. The struggle was worth it. The pain of being real was worth it. It was all worth it.

So my charge to you is Continue
From this day on you will build a house and a family, it will be a struggle and as long as you open yourself to be real it can be a joy. Look at your husband, He can be trusted, He is willing to fight for you, willing to be one. In all the ups and downs of life build your marriage on reality and in the knowledge that the struggle is worth it, and it will be! So I say to you continue to be real. Continue, for it is worth it!

You both are Christians

You follow a God who accepted you.
Who knew your reality and your limitations.

Who loved you as you are.
This is what love is:
That God loved us and sent his Son to be the means by which are sins are forgiven.

God
who did not accept false oneness
who looked past all our “good fronts”, our “love-like phoniness”, our “painted smiles”
God send his son when we were yet sinners to die for us, in our place, for us.

So God
Who looks past our “Good Fronts” and Self-righteous actions and saw hearts that said
I don’t like you!
I hate you!
You make me sick!
I am indifferent to you!
I don’t know how I feel about you!”

and still he Loved and Still he died! ------ For US.

God accepting our reality and our limitations.

Marriage is now a part of your Christian spirituality.

Remember Adam and Eve, they messed everything up and ended blaming each other. After being given the punishment for there disobedience, God for there own Good, kicked then out of the Garden I imagine them hand in hand walking with heads down, for the weight of there actions rested squarely on there heads. But if you read closely you see God's grace at work in this mess. God likes to work in the middle of the mess. Adam and Eve fell but God did not kick them out and write them off. God did not give up on them.. The last thing we hear of there marriage is the two dealing with the lose of one son and the other son being the killer. MESS! But God is not done! that is not the end of there story. The end of there story is the same as ours, the human story ends in the same place ours does - At the Cross. God works in mess and thought the mess of the cross to make a way for man. God will work in all the messes that happen in your marriage if you let him be the center of your marriage.

Keeping short accounts, not taking each other for granted, making time to listen.
Is not part of romance or love, it is part of your life in God.
Romance can’t secure forgive but a life in God can.
Life-together in God can forgive, and endure the hurt,
Life in God can open us to say I’m wrong and grow closer through the pain.
For your part of a bigger story, your story is part of God’s story,
Your life is no more it is now Our Life with God for you are ONE.

Christian spirituality is a journey Marriage is part of the journey.
A journey of a shared commitment to grow and change.
And the only way you can grow and change,
the only way you can wrinkle and mature with each other,
is to be real with each other, to accept your limitations and “name” your struggles.
But take time to
Have Fun!
Be adventitious!
Enjoy each other!

Have Sex all the time! - God Invented it for your "oneness"!

It's all part of the journey get into it!

Conclusion
You will probably not remember a single word I say.

When you watch the video tape, you will hear me say

Build you marriage on reality.
Build your marriage on your limitations and struggles.

But every time you hear U2, I hope you will remember

One life
Because you’re not the same
You get to carry each other
Carry each other

AMEN.

Pictures of Grace, Part four of four,

the fighter for the new song - a mind on fire and a heart of creativity

Pictures of Grace, Part three of four,

Sanctifying Grace

How amazing is it to see the dawn,
to wittiness its growth as one come from meager beginnings
a light like a life known for its steady movement from darkness to destiny.
As if a viewless voiceless wheel pulls it by some invisible power,
sunshine like grace filling empty night, lifting the falling,
teaching the weak that beauty is a capacity of all things created.
A capacity through which we creep into the experience of redemption,
And gain the knowledge of redemptive action, the Awe of Amazing grace,
Grace like a sunrise in slow moving beauty.
Burns me, changes me, And I only grow hotter from its flame

Empowering Grace

How amazing it is that freedom rings in the hearts of men,
that blood and faith stands stronger than chains.
That the longing for justice is a grace to act
yet in stillness, grace slowly saturates and nations are changed

How amazing it is to see the freedom that is not free
take root in people that know not freedom
and even in chains, in hate, in the stretch of a whip
And rise, A people rise, as free men ..They rise by grace.

Grace amazing in oppressive flame
Unending grace in a shepherd's Fame
Grace amazing in inspiring ways
Unending grace in enduring waves

Grace is freeing grace
Grace is good
Grace is known as God is good.
And Good is God reaching out in love
Grace is unmatched gifts
from the fire dove.

Pictures of Grace, Part two of four,

Temptation is universal
the fork in the path - where we entertain the thought of evil.
so effortlessly, how it enslaves - how slow and calm the noose is slipped tight
till all is night and daylight hurts the eyes

then in desperation or fits of hope we cry

AND HE ALWAYS HEARS ... HE ALWAYS HEARS!

Pictures of Grace, Part one of four,

Grace can take the hate and give love
Grace can face the cold and show hope
Grace can empower those that can't stand
and stand those that try to overpower the fallen
Grace takes us as we are, for who we are,
and still call us to be more than we are ... in grace..

It is the sounds of life and the light we follow -
It is open to all for it is grace..

Compliments to Mar's hill deeply touching videos.

Steven Colbert and the Theology of SIN....

JOhn P. over at his blog VITA BREVIS tuned me on this little nugget of contra-pseudo-goodness. He writes that Stephen Colbert of Comedy Central's Colbert report is "maybe" a believer of the Catholic trad-i-tion and further a Sunday school teacher. Not sure about that but his interview with Bart Ehrman was classic. Ehrman is the University of North Carolina prof. of Theology and Church History, and author of "Miss-quoting Jesus". If you have not seen it you must, at one point Colbert states, "agnostics are people who do not have the balls to be atheists!" Ehrman is a professing agnostic. You can find the video at here. Anyway John tell us about this most resent and entertaining Colbert moment. John P. writes:

On Monday's Colbert Report, Stephen interviewed Philip Zimbardo (professor at Stanford, and author of The Lucifer Effect). Zimbardo's book discusses how "good people turn bad," using the story of Satan as its archetype. Clearly, Zimbardo isn't given ample time to explain his argument...but, essentially, he asserts that good people turn bad by assenting to an unjust authority. Unfortunately, he then goes on to make some rather flimsy theological claims about God being the source of all evil in the world.

The real highlight of the interview, however, is when Colbert deconstructs Zimbardo's claims with an impassioned defense of a more traditional Christian approach to Satan and the origin of evil. Zimbardo replies to Colbert by saying "You were taught well in Sunday School, Stephen." To which Colbert replies, "I TEACH Sunday School, mother-f*&@$!"

If you want to watch it Go Here - Colbert is like a good wine, it is only best experienced and not talked about.

Compassion and things unsaid

Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world - Buddha

No greater love than this that a man lay his life down for his Friends - Jesus

I have always appreciated the “Buddha”. His sayings have stood as golden insights into the psychology of man. His teachings resonate, at times, with some of the highest expressions of natural law. My personal favorite quote is “Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory comes.” Anyone that knows me will understand why I like that quote.

Light, enlightenment and the ground of compassion

For all I like about his teachings, we do differ. First, He is into the “round pot belly look”, I am not. Actually, I have determined to maintain that difference as long as humanly possible. Secondly, and most notable is our differing analyses of suffering. The Buddha teaches that suffering results from caring too much about things, or getting tied into things. If you only cool down and detach from life, you can spare yourself suffering. For the Buddha suffering is life, an irreducible condition and/or definition of life. The unavoidable consequence of such an idea is it leads to evil being only an illusion and the self rather vaporous.

My faith tradition analyzes suffering in a different way. For a Christian, Suffering is a result of real evil, a negation of the good in life, if you will. The teaching of the fall of creation (Gen 3, Rom 8) places suffering as a problem to be overcome. Thus, what is (suffering in this world) is not what ought to be. People, pain, and problems are real and from just such realism I can find a place for real compassion. Life takes on a double vision. The world is both brimming with hope and soaking in problems. From this bifocal vision of life, we see suffering in the world and we rush to it with a healing embrace.

By contrast, when detachment is the goal and indifference becomes a virtue, suffering can be subjectively distempered, yet at great cost. The cost is half our nature; the heights of joy, care and true engagement with the world. It is like spiritual euthanasia, killing the patient (the desires) to cure the disease (the experience of pain). For all its great wisdom (and I genuinely mean that) the Buddha’s ground for a compassionate life becomes weightless. As a philosopher, I can’t help but find their philosophy a bit inadequate. Neither true activism, nor social justice can grow from such a foundation. Compassion for the individual and their personal pain is at a disadvantage in the mysticism of Buddhist metaphysic.

For me, I have a conviction that grounds compassion in real life. It defines compassion as a desire that seeks out suffering. Simply put, it is nothing more than an extension of what a Christians sees in Christ. In the gospels, we see one who empathized and incarnated compassion in his very existence. We see one touching the leper while still unclean, honoring a woman whom society has discarded, eating dinner with the outcast, even teaching that all races, cultures and tribes are worthy of being called our neighbors.

Greater still, we see Him choosing to suffer and embracing the pain of the world for the sake of the world. This is why Christian’s believe in a suffering God. That in Christ God did not stand off from evil, indifferent and hostile, having nothing to do with it but ran to it, and identified with it, to redeem in an act of compassion. Thus the cross, in Christian theology, is a revelation of love, a deep love that does not take away pain but transforms it. As C.S. Lewis has written, “Christ came not to free us from our pain but to transform them into His.”[1] He does not solve the problem but changes it into a deep mystery and a mission, a way to find life in deep suffering and a path for all that wish to know life. T S Eliot in His masterpiece “Four Quarters,” speaks of God as a surgeon who has to produce pain in order to cure. So to is life found through pain,

The wounded surgeon plies the steel

That questions the distempered part

Beneath the bleeding hands we feel

The sharp compassion of the healer's art

It is this narrative of compassion that a Christian embodies in life. The life story of one that touched lepers and reveled illumined love. The light of life infused into ones life, brings a gravity that draws us to engage the needy and hurting though deep wells of an effortless yet cruciform love. As Schopenhauer once wrote, “Compassion is the basis of morality.”[2] Though his foundation was not in Christ until late in life, his thought still rings true. Great compassion can only be the ground that moves us towards great compassion.

Good BBQ, lessons learned and visions of great compassion

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. - John Lennon

I live detached, years of hurting for people and dealing with their problems slowly numbed me. I would rather tell them what to do than hold them in a healing embrace. So I retreated into books, into the thoughts of men like “Wittgenstein”, and the Buddhist like attitude of detachment. It is easier and you don’t smell like shit and pain when it’s all done. I was living as one indifferent, hypocritical to my own convictions. I was living and still find myself in a paradox of opposites. A place called “indifferent”, best explained by Elie Wiesel:

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.

The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.

The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.

And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.[3]

Yet, Life detached is not a life at all. I was reminded of this by a good friend. Someone like myself who’s heart is also guided by three governing passions, The longings for love, the search for knowledge, And unbearable pity for the suffering of humankind.

As we ate BBQ, and talked of days that have settled under the dust of time. Days that are never to return yet will always be remembered with fondness and nostalgia. Over cold slaw and diet coke, my nostalgia gave way to reality as I was ushered into a world of real pain and medical dilemmas. As a Doctor she sees pain in real time. The suffering of others is not a momentary bump but a road she must walk with them. Get her talking of it and her eyes ignite with the joy of a life enlightened by compassion. She cares so much for people that an 80 hour work weeks seems worth it. Such a person is an example to me. One who’s brilliance is only matched by her compassion. She shines when she speaks of being a doctor, it was this light of compassion that taught me in unspoken words, how to care deeply for the pain of others.

I saw the first blossom of it, many years removed from today. Before the dark battles that all big hearts must face, made there mark on her. The path to such compassion is always through that valley of stubborn darkness. I have walked that valley too and though I find myself on a different shore, we will remain linked by what I have learned from her.

The smell of BBQ in the air, the sound of joy in the conversation, I could not move from the captivating light. Where first I just saw a blossom, yet now, I hear stories of its fragrance, a fragrance filling the Hippocratic Oath with meaning and truth. She illuminated compassion for me. I was reminded of the words from the pen of Emily Dickinson:

If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain.

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain. [4]

As we finished our BBQ, I thought of all the good times we had together. She is on my short list of unforgettable people. How much we have both changed and the ironies in what parts have remained unchanged. Thank God, Her heart is unchangeable. Her heart, it’s her best quality. I may not let her cut on me until she has 10,000 surgeries under her belt (this brother ant stupid!) but I will let her be my teacher.

Blessings and thankfulness for the journey ahead my friend

Journey on……

Bertrand Russell once wrote:

Three passions have governed my life:

The longings for love, the search for knowledge,

And unbearable pity for the suffering of [humankind].

Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness.

In the union of love I have seen

In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision

Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge.

I have wished to understand the hearts of [people].

I have wished to know why the stars shine.

Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens,

But always pity brought me back to earth;

Cries of pain reverberated in my heart

Of children in famine, of victims tortured

And of old people left helpless.

I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot,

And I too suffer.

This has been my life; I found it worth living.[5]

and Abraham Joshua Heschel reminds us all:

A religious man is a person who holds God and man in one thought at one time, at all times, who suffers harm done to others, whose greatest passion is compassion, whose greatest strength is love and defiance of despair.[6]

---

[1] C. S. Lewis, The problem of Pain

[2] David E Cartwright, “Historical dictionary of Schopenhauer’s philosophy”: Cartwright clamed that the quote comes from “On the basic of morality” a treatise by Arthur Schopenhauer.

[3] Elie Wiesel, US News and world report October 27, 1986. Wiesel, a French-Jewish novelist, political activist, Nobel peace prize winner, Nobel Laureate and Holocaust survivor. He is the best known for “Night” a retelling of his time in the concentrations camps.

[4] Emily Dickinson “If I can stop one heart from breaking,”

[5] Bertrand Russell adapted from His autobiography, “The Autobiography of Bertrand Russell.”

[6] Abraham Joshua Heschel, New York Journal-American, April 5, 1963. Heschel was a Jewish theologian and ethicist.

God is around every corner

God is around every corner... Smiling. I forget that sometimes. Well, if truth be told I forget most of the time. Unless, I tie a string to my finger, with a neon bible flashing “read me” dangling from it. Or send myself an e-vite, an invitation to enter into the wonder of this God-with-me life, I have been so helplessly captured by. Then and only then I may remember. But I most likely will pass on God, click “some other time”, choosing a Christian life a little less dangerous and a little more in my own strength. Honestly, many times, I am just too busy doing stuff for him to care to be with him. In that habit, I show my great capacity for self-sufficiency – a tendency to live as if the good I do is of my own virtue. It is a mental trap that gets ants to think their giants and believers to think their strong. So quickly I forget but he is quick to remind. He reminds me in others, in his word, in the open beauty of life itself. He is around every corner and he is always smiling.

Yesterday, I turned the corner and there he was in the words of a child-prodigy painting hope on the canvas of this old soldier’s heart. I rested my heart and found shade under the almighty. Today he was around the corner from page 29 and i met him on page 30. It was, what I like to call a "suddenly"; when God swoops into your reality and things change. A "suddenly" like in Acts 2:1: "Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting." unlike Shakespeare’s Macbeth, this was Sound and furry, signifying something. It was My God coming in a ‘suddenly”, happily revealing to this old soldier, he ant through with him yet. For me no greater miracle, no deeper truth exists than He never stops working even when there’s a problem with the clay.

I was reading Brennan Manning's A glimpse of Jesus. This is what I read when the wind brushed my face. This is what I heard when God stepped down, and suddenly became my reality! In between the word, He was there molding changing making all things new and in between all things I rested in the water on my face and the fire in my soul. Manning writes of an experience that God let me enter into vicariously through Manning:

During an extended silent retreat in Tampa, Florida, some years ago, I was reading the Scriptures in my room at the Franciscan Retreat Center. The subtle dominion of self-hatred had returned, and I was back on the rollercoaster ride of perfectionist depression, neurotic guilt, and emotional instability. The despotic power of my idealized self and the nagging litany of 'I should have, I could have, I ought to have, Why didn't I? Why did I?' had persuaded me that my life and ministry were vitiated by vanity, insensitivity, and self-centeredness.

At that very moment Jesus set me free.

Praying over the passage of the washing of the feet (John 13:1-17), I suddenly transported in faith into the Upper Room, where I took Judas's place among the Twelve. The Servant, who had tied a towel around his waist, poured water from a pitcher into a copper basin and reached out to wash my feet (the dress and duty those of a slave). Involuntarily I pulled my foot back. I couldn't look at him. I had betrayed the vision, been unfaithful to my dream (an thus unfaithful to his plan for my life).

Sensing my dismay, he placed his hand on my knee and said, 'Brennan, do you know what these years together have meant to me? You were being held even when you didn't believe I was holding you. I love you, my friend.'

Tears rolled down my cheeks. 'But Lord, my sins, my repeated failures, my weaknesses….

'I understand. Brennan, I expected more failure from you than you expected from yourself.' He smiled . 'And you always came back. Nothing pleases me as much as when you trust me, when you allow that my compassion is bigger than your sinfulness.'

'But Jesus what about my irritating character defects - the boasting, the inflating of the truth, the pretense of being an intellectual, the impatience with people, and all the times I drank to excess?'

'What you are saying is true. But your love for me has never wavered: your heart has remained pure. What's more, even in the darkness and confusion, you've always done something that overshadowed all the rest. You were kind to sinners.'

I cried - so loudly that the retreatant in the adjacent room knocked on the door to ask if I was all right.

'Now I'll go,' Jesus said. 'I've just washed your feet. Do the same for others. Serve my people humbly and lovingly. You will find happiness if you do. Peace, my friend.'"

When the moment had finally passed and God sweetly lifted, with red eyes and a full heart I reached for what I always reach for, a pen and I wrote down these words…

Purifying fire
Even the fallen find rest, even the lonely know joy, even Jesus understands that when you run hard after Him, your own seeking can become the idol: A distraction pulling you away from looking to him. This Idolatry is loving Jesus in your own strength. It is worship of your service. Trying more than is asked of you; trying so very hard, trying to hard. While all the while enjoying little indulgences, little unclean freedoms, you give yourself as gifts for seeking so hard. Hiding them under the floorboards of your life justifying their presence by the existent of your devotion, convincing yourself they are well hidden even from God.

Oh GOD I am sorry! When strong grace is at the door I turn and walk away. Self-sufficient seeking to grow faster than the Spirit is willing to produce. So I strive in my strength, scrupulous analyzing to get it right, zealous activity before others, the seeing and doing from leanness of soul produces nothing more than dust and ash. The remnants of sins already purified.

So I rest in your work and trust in your working. It is here, in your rest, your secret gifts unfold to me. In this moment, I find beauty, truth and goodness greeting me like dear friends after a long absence. I find my heart’s home, my soul’s rest and you call me friend.

Cleansing water
So many times I forget my life is Jesus washing my feet. In all I do unclean, impure, imperfect, my Jesus is washing my feet. My problems, my pain, my rejections, are not mine, my Jesus is washing my feet. In my character deficiencies, my wayward heart, my unclean lips, my Jesus is washing my feet. My endurance, my compassion, my desire for justice and truth that so often violently arrests me, is not mine; my Jesus is washing my feet. In my unbelief, in my pride to prove myself to be more than my biology, in my anger when reading becomes public humiliation and words become the enemy; my Jesus is washing my feet. My determined love, my relentless seeking, my passionate expression, is not my own: my Jesus is washing my feet.

My hope, my life, my all, is Jesus washing my feet!
In victory or the valley it will always be Jesus washing my feet.

- In retropect -

I am just one in many that desire to abide in God’s empowering and redeeming grace. To all that read, know this is My God the one who takes a drug addicted jock and makes him a poet that lives to press in and touch the inner light of glory, returning with words that change lives. A God that take a people who can’t read or write and choosing them to bear the weight of his word, to be near to his whisper, effortlessly hearing, speaking, and bring the kingdom of God in a “Suddenly”.

There is a strength in dependence, a boldness in humility and a power in surrender, it is Jesus washing your feet.



Brennan Manning, A glimpse of Jesus: the stranger of self-hatred (Sanfrancisco: HaperSanFrancisco, 2003), 30-31