When I was young, I played in the woods behind my house. I would spend hours finding new adventures behind every tree. One day, as I stooped to look at a cool looking bug. I heard a snap behind me. My 10 year old brain raced. It was Bigfoot, no! A dragon, no! Mutated aliens from planet P9X82! Oh NO! I thought I was a goner destined to be a brainless slave for squid like creatures that enjoyed making young boys do the Macarena till there arms fell off. If I was to be an X-file it would be filed under 'WTF' for Whiteboy-Totally-Flipedout. I gathered the needed courage, with a snort I was ready to give them all the fight I had. Slowly turning, I readied myself to face my soon-to-be captors. If I was going down, I was going down swinging for white boys should never be forced to dance their arms off!
To my relief, my eyes fell on a small deer about as old as I was, (in deer years). I exhaled. The deer was startled and shot up. Our eyes locked, the moment felt sacred, till the holiness was broken by his big daddy (who I did not see) shooting off like some criminal on a crime drama! I did the same, running as fast as I could. Thinking the aliens got my deer brother. I slowed a little to look back as I ran. Then it happened, the communication between my head and my feet where interrupted by a rock. I tripped. Hitting the ground with a thug I lay there for a moment, half giggling and half whimpering, enjoying both my over active imagination and the interesting artifact my feet had found moments earlier. A rock shaped like a half moon that smooth on one side and jagged on the other. It was rippled with color with an otherworldly beauty to it. Interested and with nothing better to do, I began to dig around the rock. As I dug the rock seemed to grow larger. I kept digging partly because it was there but mostly because the mystery drove me. It took the remaining hours of light I had to get it uncovered. To me, the rock was a marker that revealed the location of some ancient sage's most precious secrets. As the mystery was within my grasp, I heard the one thing that would pull me away. "Dawson, its supper time!" The mystery was great but my hunger was greater so the mystery would have to wait for tomorrow. Yet even after eating my fill, a hunger still remained: a hunger for the deep mysteries on the underside.
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Our greatest danger
Many Christians try to be good without the gospel. Such an endeavor is like shooting yourself in the foot, jumping into a shark tank, while humming the theme from Jaws! You may get out alive but only part of you will make it. Following Jesus' teachings without cognitively appropriating the work of Jesus will eventually leave you in pieces.
James 4:1-3 tells us that we have a sinful tendency to escalate our desires and preferences into ruling desires and dogmatics. It may be desires to protect ourselves, or be famous, be liked or please others but such desires mutate and take on a life of there own if allowed to gain too much control in the soul. Put another way, man has inner dogmatics also called strongholds of the mind. They are the beliefs, “the sure enough’s” and “should not’s” “the ought to’s” and “must haves”, all the little beliefs that improperly rule our perception of the world. When we try to be good without the gospel those little sinful beliefs often remain and make the Christian life a frustrating and tedious venture. Such sinful and irrational beliefs inevitably lead to self-defeat. Some examples of these bad beliefs are:
- I must have love or approval from all the significant people in my life
- I must perform important and moral tasks competently and perfectly.
- Because I strongly desire that people treat me considerately and fairly, they absolutely must do so.
- If I don’t get what I want or expect, it is terrible and I can't stand it.
- It is easier to avoid facing life’s difficulties than to undertake more rewarding forms of self-discipline.
- It is easier to avoid facing life's responsibilities than to undertake more rewarding forms of self-discipline.
These irrational beliefs also remind us that if left to ourselves we are like ticking time bombs marking off the seconds till we self-destruct. The evidence is in the behaviors fostered by the beliefs. You can see how we “Tick-Tick” our way to destruction. We are quick to manufacture blind spots for our most problematic areas. “Tick-Tick” We cultivate self-discipline in all the wrong ways. “Tick-Tick” We become overly demanding of others and quick to give excuses to (justify) ourselves. “Tick-Tick” We often see ourselves as the victim and project on others the responsibility to grow and change. “Tick-Tick” We immobilize our ability to make helpful and fully productive choices which we can follow through to completion. "Tick-Tick-Boom” and we all fall down. By living from these hidden irrational beliefs many Christian sabotage their relational and spiritual lives.
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Back to young Dawson and the rock! All night I lay awake full of all the possibilities that rock covered. The sun could not rise quickly enough! But like all ten year olds night got the best of me and I awoke well after sun rise. When I awoke it was with purpose and not long after I resumed my excavation. The rock was as I left it yet in the light of morning I realized it was the size of my dog 'Bear' and too big too lift. I could not move it by myself. So I used a trick I saw on MacGyver. Just like Mac, I placed a strong stick under the rock and pulled down on the other end. The rock popped out like a pop tart. I scrambled to the hole; the morning light illuminated the little abyss. My eyes widened, my heart raced, as I peered in not knowing what I would see.
What did I find? I found the most revolting truth? Sometime what is hidden, what is the mystery, is nothing but bugs, worms, bones, and a half crushed, all dead, mole. On the underside of our hearts are the bad beliefs that direct our lives. We are the problem, the one with junk on the underside of our hearts. We should take the time to dig deep and see what is under our rock. The answer to the mystery may not be pretty but it will be beneficial. As for my rock adventure, I later used my new knowledge to defend the honor of MacGyver against those that would doubt the reality of his inventions. With the passion of an evangelist I cried, "MacGyver did not lie! For I, Yes I dear brother, have lifted a rock just as he did!" Years later I realized the real truth I had found on the underside was not truth of MacGyver's science but the spiritual reality of the heart. I learned human heart’s truest description. Objects of faded beauty that hide below there well weathered façade, the darker truths of our past. The human heart is not nearly as beautiful and worthy to lead our life as many romantically claim. Yet it is worth digging out if only for sober transformation we find in the process. The opportunity to change begins with dealing with what is on the underside of our hearts. Hearts are mysteries and beautify markers, jagged but colorful sign-stone that cover the deepest truth of our nature and darkest truths of our past.
Getting at the Heart
That day, I had lifted my world with just a stick and found my heart better for it! But how do we get to the underside? It is not easy to get to the underside of inner deceptive beauty. The work will be hard but I have learned that when we do the hard work, what we find may not make us happy but it will make us better. We are better for being willing to dig, for the courage to uncover what is under our hearts and place those things in the clear light of the day. So how do we uncover and clear out our bad beliefs? Here are six sticks that I have found can lift my rock hard heart. My hope is they will help you lift your heart to see and clear those beliefs that secretly destroy you from the underside.
1. Seek a contemplative encounter with God’s holiness (Isa 6:1-10).
As prideful sinners, we have a self-destructive tendency to make and keep ourselves emotionally disturbed. This is one reason it is difficult to maintain good healthy emotional and relational lives. Our deepest uncheck beliefs betray us. They are the terrorists of the soul. Our odd assumptions about how the world works turns out to be our own undoing. So it is wise for us to, seek a contemplative encounter with God. Through times of prayer and study the lights are turned on: We see life in light of God’s glory and ourselves in light of God’s holiness. Prayer, the Spirit’s power and humility are central in gaining true perspective from which to view our selves and others. In seeking God and getting a revelation of His Holiness we are opened to gain a humble perspective on life. Without such an epistemological virtue you rarely see past the layers of deception we all hide behind. It is through the discipline of contemplation that we are cultivated towards life in this way. This way we cultivate humble perspective by comparing ourselves to God and rarely to the rest of humanity.
2. Sit at the feet of Jesus
When Jesus walked the dusty road of humanity, his ministry aimed at the heart. Time and Again he taught in parables to uncover the underside of man’s heart. In using parables, Jesus was not being vague. If Jesus was cryptic you can be sure it was for a reason. This indirect way of teaching was not a detour but an express lane to the heart. The parables did not give all the answers but called a person to respond. This indirect communication did two things. First, it sifted the real truth seekers from the religious information seekers and dogmatic control freaks. Only the real truth seekers would be curious enough to dig for answers. Then as now, too many people want a fast-food quick packaged answer, Spiritual transformation with a little plastic toy inside. Jesus never spoon feed his disciples. He taught in a way that made them think. "As soon as He was alone, His followers, along with the twelve, began asking Him about the parables." (Mark 4:10) Second, this indirect communication spoke to people’s hearts and called them to respond on a heart level. Each parable asks something of each of us, something fundamental and essential to what it means to be a Christian. Like Samuel did to David, Jesus told stories to bring people to a place where he could say “You are the man?” Use his parables to get at your heart. Ask yourself, where do I find myself in the story? What does this little story call me to do? What does it convict me of? How must I respond to the call of Jesus in this parable? What is Jesus calling me to do? What rises to the service when I contrast this parable with my heart? When reading the parables I am always struck by the simple but profound understanding given to me by Jesus. It always forces my heart to be laid uncovered and naked before me.
Also don’t think to deeply. The parables are all pulled from real life. Learning to think like Jesus is learning to think like a normal common person of the land. Jesus liked the people rooted in the soil of real life. If we don’t get the parable it is not because it is to mystical and cryptic but because more than likely we are removed from the land. Our feet don’t know the feel of soil and our hands the common work of people rooted in the soil. In short, be instinctive and think simple!
3. Learn to hear others by Following.
Before we can hear we must follow. It is by faith alone that we are free of sin's punishment and power. We no are longer slaves to sin; faith in the work of Christ frees to follow Christ. We are free to follow and in following we become free of sin's present influence. For Christians, sin still abides on the underside of our hearts left unchecked it destroys us. So we follow to be free. Jesus explained it this way, "If you continue in my word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." (John 8:31-32). It is continuing in his word, being his disciple that practical lighthearted freedom comes. Now Jesus’ discipleship is a call to die so freedom is not free but it is worth it. We have to do the hard work. The gospel asks us to think long and hard about the deep things of life. It calls us to treasure what is truly valuable. It demands we place our egos aside and die daily in humble following of Jesus. In these ways death and discipleship opens our ears to hear for our opinions, our preferences, our thoughts, and ideas about life slowly drowned out all other voices and make our ears spiritually deaf.
People tend to be deaf, but in different ways. Remember the admonition of Jesus in his parable of the sower, "Be careful, how you hear" (Luke 8:4-8, 11-15). In a conversation, most ether don’t listen but think while the other person is talking believing there thought superior to all others (the hard soil). Such an attitude is the sign of impenetrable ego and easy pickings for the devil. Others don't think enough and don’t understand what is being said to them (shallow soil). Such shallowness is because they don't, like, care much about, like, thinking and stuff! Without meditation information is not an education. Others think to much about the wrong things thus they only hear what they want to hear (weedy soil). All three only invest about half there energy in truly hearing and never train themselves on how to truly hear from the heart. This is why Jesus ended many teachings with, "He, who has ears to hear, let him hear." (Mark 4:9). Jesus was saying there is a prerequirement to understanding my teaching. If you have not denied self, died to ego and followed Christ, you will not get his teachings. Gaining spiritual understanding and being a sideline Christian are incompatible. You can not enjoy your view from the pew and get spiritual food from the preacher. What you get only fills your pride. In the discipleship of Jesus teaching is important yet it is only a pause between the actions of following. Every sermon ends in silence for at its end is a call to action, affection, and admiration to follow Jesus.
4. Let wise and discerning people speak into your life.
The first work and most prevalent work of the spirit is conviction. Conviction is not a bad thing it is a God thing. It is evidence that the spirit lives in you, that God has not given up on you. When we feel bad because we have been bad, don’t be sad, rejoice. It is pride that causes a Christian to be sad and self-pitting after being convicted. Conviction is an opportunity to become a better person, a more authentic human. When we know who we are in Christ. When we know our freedom from sin's punishment and power. Conviction is a blessing much like a cold shower. Also the gospel must be our acceptance. When the blood is enough for us, and we do not need to earn God's acceptance, we rest in our freedom as adopted children of God. Through all this we come to a place where the gospel strengthens the inner man to stop striving and rest in Christ finished work. In this way we hear in the peace of the soul. Many clouds of confusion are blown away and the soul is freely open to the possibilities life in the Spirit brings. In this secure rest, we can have the real conversations that lead to real change for we no longer fear judgment but see failure as an opportunity to learn. Practically speaking, Learn to ask trusted wise and discerning Christians what they see and stop all excuses, all justifications, and just take it in. Remember it’s to the level you truly trust and respect them that you will hear what they say in a transformative way.
5. Use the Gospel to balance our heart
The Gospel cleans up our thinking and feeling in fundamental ways. It reminds us we are fallen but not hopeless, we are more than we think and still much less than God. Theologically guilt is at the root of the human condition. Under God's judgment, humanity is permeated with a sense of despair/guilt. Wither unconscious or conscious we live from this constant condition. Thus a common character flaw of humanity is found in its use of blame. We blame ourselves and others improperly. We should seek to cultivate a bifocal gospel vision of the self. Bifocal glasses have two different focuses one that in near for examination and the other more father off so you can make your way in the world. The gospel remind us we live in an “already - not yet” reality. We are a sinner and not yet completely free of sin. This is like the up close focus we will always need to see the sinner to continue to grow and change. The other focus is farther off, we see ourselves as saint or holy one. This motivates us to continue the journy. It assures us that our relationship with God not based on us. We can already live as sinless saints even though the fullness of that state is not yet upon us. This bifocal vision calls us to deal with our problems without hopelessness and continue in the Love of God without despair. We can rest in his work for us a serve him in gratitude without dishonoring Christ by seeking to earn the favor of God.
So always remind yourself, God has, because of Christ, accepts the unacceptable, receives the rejected, forgives the unforgivable, loves the unlovable and brought close those that declared a jihad on God. We should seek to accept ourselves in our imperfections because the gospel alone gives us dignity and saintliness. The gospel trains our hearts that being authentically human means we can't live from self-reliance, self-pity, fear or guilt, but that gospel gratitude, glorious sonship, and intimate fellowship is the authentic rhythm of the human soul.
6. Seek to uncover and disprove irrational beliefs by the Word and Spirit.
Once a Hebrew prophet pouted about his own heart, "The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?" (Jer 17:9) God response to the prophet's frustration, "I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give to each man according to his ways," (Jer 17:10) Digging is hard but it is not imposable if you are letting God help you get at your heart. He has given us tools for the task. First himself, the Holy Spirit, second the Word as a mirror for seeing the imperfection of the soul. The Spirit and the Word will slowly help you mine your heart of these bad beliefs. The Spirit convicts and cleans as the Word; our mirror helps us to see the many imperfections we have in our thinking. One way of doing this is by being mindful of one's language. Jesus said, the words that come our of a man's heart defiles him. He was getting at the idea that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth will speak. Unguarded words are telling of our heart's disposition. If we look at our language and take note of the "musts" "should" and "ought" phrases we use, we will uncover many of our bad beliefs. Repent and then seek to change your language along biblical lines and you will begin to change your way of thinking.
7. Learn to laugh again
C S Lewis claimed that the greatest mark of evil was not impurity but not having a sense of humor. Prideful people can't laugh at themselves humble people can. Learn not to take yourself too seriously. It is true, God can do without you. You are expendable and not absolutely necessary to God big picture plan. He can accomplish all his purposes without yours or my help yet he enjoys having us along for the ride. God wants you to be a part of his plan for the ages but he wants you to do it with a smile. So breathe in peace and gospel, Breathe out and smile!
Epilogue – Holey Life
Years later I walked through those same woods and came on the spot where I had my metaphysical treasure hunt. The hole was still there with one exception rising from its center were the makings of a mighty Oak. It already stood well above 15 feet. The only oak for miles and miles was rising from this hole. It slowly dawned on me, the seed had been there all along. Among all the dirt and bones, the seed quietly slept. It too was on the underside of the heart rubbing elbows with dead moles. It just needed the light of day to call it forth to take root and grow. Out of the death and decay, life sprang up.
Where a hole once was now there is life, a holey life! The Christian life is a process of excavating, dying and living again. Sometimes we have to die in little ways to authentically live. Sometimes those unpleasant things we uncover when we mine out our heart become good fertilizer once the light of day is shined on it. Dealing with the underside of our hearts is part of growth and a key in becoming a mighty oak of Righteousness.
As Christians, the gospel was already present on the underside of our hearts. When we first believed it was implanted there by the Holy Spirit, and there it remained, imperishable and pure. From the seed of the gospel, we can grow to be an Oak of righteousness but only if we first deal with the underside of our hearts. While many Christians try to be good without the gospel there is another way. In dealing with what is on the underside of our hearts we also make room for the gospel to take root and grow. The gospel seed is the beginnings of the good life. From the underside of the heart the gospel acts as the root of the ethical life. By the gospel, flawed people grow to be flawed good people. In this way, we can be good without shooting ourselves in the foot.
You have been born again not of seed which is perishable but imperishable, that is, through the living and enduring word of God.
1 Peter 1:23 (NASB)
How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,
Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!
But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night.
He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,
Which yields its fruit in its season
And its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.
Psalms 1:1-3 (NASB)
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